Smokey the Ad Campaign

Do you guys remember Smokey the Bear (or "Smokey Bear" as the main site tells me is his proper name)?

This guy:

Except recently I was wandering around the internet and I discovered that he looks like this now:

Smokey the bear is like, a bro now. GIT YER SMOKEY ON, GUYS. And that's not even talking about the new commercials he's in:

Let me tell you, there is nothing more unsettling than a ripped CGI bear wearing pants and a hat, talking with a woman's voice about fires. It's straight-up nightmare shit right there.

But maybe I'm wrong, maybe Smokey's jacked up abs aren't the worst thing that could happen. Maybe it's a step forward. Because I found this commercial that I'm fairly certain is legit, and....yeah.

Remember: Only YOU can prevent insanely bizarre ad campaigns.

EYEPOCALYPSE

So I stopped writing in this thing for a month because of NaNoWriMo (which I finished in grand style) and then didn't write in December because of finals and Christmas, and then I got busy with being in Phoenix, and so...anyway, it's not a 3 month absence because I'm posting now!

Last week I was browsing the internet, and came across this edition of the bible. It's a pretty normal New Testament except, oh, you might have noticed that HUGE WEIRD SULTRY EYE ON THE COVER.

P.S. on the back cover there's a demonic faceless zip-up hoodie. WTF.
So anyway it turns out that this is a Swedish bible-as-magazine project and contains Angelina Jolie's picture, among others, but that's a whole other essay and one I'm not going to be doing. What I did instead was post it on my bro* Florence's wall on Facebook. She then pointed out that this is basically a flipped version of the cover of the Stephenie Meyers (of Twilight fame) book The Host. Observe:

This is almost one entire person wearing makeup on one eye and not the other. Is "cover eye/face model" a job, and if so, does it pay well?

Anyway, this comparison resulted in the following conversation:

Jamie: SULTRY EYES
Jamie: ALL UP IN YOUR BUSINESS.
Florence: >:[
Florence: SO ANGRY.
Jamie: FOREVER
Jamie: *makes sultry eyes*
Florence: all up in YOUR business!
Jamie: *SULTRIES INTO THE ROOM*
Jamie: *EYES SMOULDERING*
Florence: LIESLIESLIES
Florence: TOTALLY NOT IN MY ROOM.
Florence: THERE ARE NO EYES IN THIS ROOM
Jamie: WHAT ARE YOU USING TO READ THESE WOOORDS
Jamie: OH GOD.
FlorencE: MY MIIIIIIIIIIIINDDDDDDD.
Jamie: FUCK
Florence: I AM READING THEM AS YOU THINK THEEEEEMMMMMMMM
Florence: *tweaks handlebar mustache*
Jamie: FUUUUUCK
Jamie: ARE YOU READING THE ALL CAPS IN MY MIND BECAUSE IT'S TOTALLY ALL CAPS UP IN THERE
Jamie: LIKE WHOA
Florence: I KNOW, RIGHT
Florence: and not only that, I am also thinking these words INTO BOOKFACE
Florence: IN ALL CAPS
Jamie: OH
Jamie: SHIT
Florence: you are IN TROUBLE (I guess?)
Florence: Oh yeah, I can also make parenthetical statements with my telekinetic prowess.
Jamie: I will gaze my way out with my SULTRY EYES
Jamie: They are SULTRY AS SHIT
Jamie: ALSO SMOULDERING.
Florence: oh no MY KRYPTONITE
Jamie: AND THEY FLASH SOMETIMES

This is why I love my friends so much.

*Sultries away*

*bro used entirely ironically. No bros or Florences were harmed in the making of this blog.

Next time: An exploration of other reasons I love my friends, or it might be a book anti-review, we'll see.