When I went home over labor day weekend, I stumbled upon a ratty binder which I had once sliced up with an Xacto blade in a fit of adolescent rage. Inside that binder was the diary I kept from 2003-2005, pretty sporadically and always overdramatically.
In a fit of post-adolescent giggles, I went through those 2 years of comedy material and present to you the best of my middle school journal. All spelling and punctuation mistakes are as in the original.
And, since it might not be as interesting to people other than me, I've also illustrated it.
From 10/12/probably 2003
Have commited myself to becoming a goth. Black, red, and heavy makeup just attract me. Need black jeans….prize pup use less. Shit. End now.
From 11/3
We’re making a memorial quilt [for sept. 11] in art. The guy said that while doing it we might cry, but I don’t cry anymore, not really, with tears and sobs and noise. I’m always or almost always crying on the inside. I’d get dehydrated if I actually shed tears. I forgot my math homework over the weekend.
From 11/18
I want to stick out so much at a school where everyone is the same. Maybe when I get done w/ this journal and get it mailed to me when I’m like 22 I’ll get it published. I mean babysitter’s club got published so this has to have a chance.
From 12/28
The last few days- a week really- have been a mix of Heaven and Hell. Right now- Hell. To the unth degree. I can’t find: A.) my bras, B.) my cds, C.) my retainer, and I’m going to D.) Nana’s house for E.) overnight , and- AND!- I have to F.) go to a full hour of shitty church. If God doesn’t help me find my bras, why should I worship Him?
From 12/29
I have new pants- black and gothic, duh- and I’m saving up for another pair that mother won’t buy because they drag on the floor. I also bought a black jacket. I look so gothic. Go me!
From 1/1/04
I hate it when people are obsessed with things. Kristin is obsessed with Elijah Wood, and, even more annoying, being fake obsessed with LOTR. It really ticks me off because I love it more than she does. I just don’t act like it because I have to throw myself into everyday life to survive. Yes I mean survive. If I think about that kind of thing too much I’ll seriously think my life sucks so much by comparison, I’ll kill myself. Yes, I’m insane. No, I’m not truly happy. Deep down inside, are you?
From 2/20
I’m becoming a different person, and I don’t like that person very much. Yes that sounds overdramatic. I don’t act polite to people I hate- about most of the 8th grade, I get really annoyed about things that have been happening forever, I fall for random guys, and I can’t get David to laugh. On the other hand, I write some kick-ass sonnets. Yes, sonnets. Don’t ask. NOTHING…INTERESTING…HAPPENS…TO…ME!!!!!
It’s very frusterating.
Tune in soon for part 2!!
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