Tuesday, October 19, 2010

My new roomate

This morning I was doing something online and heard a faint rustling in the corner of my room. This was my reaction:



Perhaps I should mention that my house is terrifying as fuck, especially since my roomate Kat left for California last month. The water heater makes terrifying sounds, the doorframes creak, and before she left, Kat managed to totally creep me out by saying that the randomly placed nails in the walls were being pushed out. So stupid, but so terrifyingly Lovecraftian at the same time.
Anyway, that's why I reacted to a rustling in my corner by first leaping out of my skin, then slowly, cautiously peering around the corner of my bed as if a face hugger was hiding in the corner of my room.

At first I didn't see anything but my usual messy floor, random clothes, etc. But then, perched on a plastic bag of knitting, I saw...the creature.



He was about the size of my thumb, at most. Like, tiny. Adorable. I see these little baby lizards all around the outside of the house, but I have no idea how this dude got inside. So of course I ran to the kitchen to get a jar and try and take him outside. Where I super failed, however, was in forgetting to block off the bottom of my bed, and he darted under there where I couldn't reach him. Troubled in my mind, I left for school.

I didn't want this dude to die under my bed, and I wanted even less to step on him. There's nothing worse than stepping on a dang lizard in your own home. It's crass.
By the time I came home I had thought of a name for him. My naming process was literally this:


And so I guess the ideal name was Blaine. Blaine the soon-to-be-dead lizard.

I figured there was nothing I could do about him, other than discover his remains later, so I threw my crap on my bed and got back on the computer, as is my wont. And then around 5.45, I heard a telltale shuffling, this time on the other corner of my bed, the one near my computer chair.

It was Blaine, making a break for it but unfortunately more interested in dancing on an old receipt than actually leaving.
I stopped breathing. I made shooing motions at him with my hands. I willed him, mentally, to keep going.

He stood very still, and then ran back under the bed.

Now I was thinking that I'd have a new pet. This guy had apparently decided to become my new roomate, although the chances of him subletting from Kat were fairly slim.
But then again, about 10 minutes later, I heard some more scrabbling, this time from over by my printer. So Blaine is a fucking ninja, not like lizards are exactly loud. This time my game was to keep doing what I was doing, and secretly focus all my attention on listening to discover his whereabouts. And sure enough, in the next five minutes or so, Blaine had traveled behind my computer desk to crouch by my wastebasket, where I tried to photograph him.



This is what I got before he started suddenly hauling ass for the living room. I ran after him, hoping to open the door so he could get out into the world, but when I turned on the light in the living room (I keep most of the lights off to save on electricity) he was nowhere to be seen.

So that's where we are right now: Blaine is out of my room and into my house. Maybe the next time I open my door he'll make a break for it, but until then I think I have finally found a new roomate. Blaine is so far kind of a freeloader, not paying rent or anything, but on the other hand he's pretty unobtrusive and certainly doesn't make a mess or take up space.

For now, Blaine is going to become a co-star in this blog, just like LORD PEACOCK and Young Jamie. If he moves out I'll probably keep you updated on what he's up to, because I feel like even after he moves out, we're going to hang out every once in a while. I'm not going to ask him to his face about his species, because I think it might be a little racist and I don't want to offend him, but I think he's either a common side-blotched lizard or an elegant earless lizard. I'm thinking it's the second, because he doesn't seem terribly common. In fact he does have a peculiar sort of elegance as he ninjas around the house.

We may have had a sort of rough start, but now that Blaine's moved into Kat's old room, I think we may have the start of something beautiful.

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